lasting things

The unreal is more powerful than the real. Because nothing is as perfect as you can imagine it. Because its only intangible ideas, concepts, beliefs, fantasies that last. Stone crumbles. Wood rots. People, they die. But things as fragile as a thought, a dream, a legend, they can go on and on. If you can change the way people think. The way they see themselves. The way they see the world. You can change the way people live their lives. That's the only lasting thing you can create.

Long time no see...

I realized I haven't made a blog in awhile. =( Things are going pretty good. I went to Seattle to see my friend that I haven't seen since we were 16. I got to met her 2 children and we drove to Idaho and I spent a week with my parents. Over all, it was a pretty good trip. I did not enjoy the cold,snow and wind...oh and the people that blew me off for photo shoots =( I really needed that money. It was nice to get away and out of the house but It was good to be back.
Had a great weekend, last week with my boyfriend. We went to Disneyland and had a great day together.
I've been pretty happy lately. I'm getting out of whatever I was in. My depression has been mia for awhile but I have been getting panic attacks again. I got on a medication that treats both..so, we'll see. I'm just hoping things get better soon. I'm waiting to hear on a job. X <- fingers =)
I love spending time with my boyfriend. He makes me happy and I love him. I wish I saw him more. I dont really have anything else to say. Nothing else too exciting is going on.

Maybe I'm Panglossian

Sorry I haven't blogged in awhile. Having computer problems and cant really think of something to write.
Anyway.. Valentine's was nice. I got to see my boyfriend 2 days in a row. I enjoy the littlest things with him. Just hanging out and talking are awesome and I love it. I Was so happy last week. I went to his house for the first time. His mom was really nice and his bunny was cute. I made me really happy. :D

Despite feeling kinda blah/sick lately..I'm pretty happy. I quit smoking, almost 2 months now. I've been feeling really happy lately and have been probably harassing my boyfriend with all the lovey texts. I cant help it. He makes me happy. I still have a lot more to do/work on this year. I'm also looking into a few trips.. The next few months will be cool. I hope..if things work out. Also, sending my love and positive thoughts for my boyfriend to feel better.
I'm kinda sad. I found out my cousins are moving back east :( Now, we cant hang out..so sad :'( I'm gonna be even more alone now.
I'm going to stay optimistic and hope everything works out and gets better this year.

Idaho

self-indulgent circus

Not sure what to say..I was in a pretty good mood today but I'm sitting here in the dark listening to kinda sad music. I guess I am feeling..not really sad kinda nostalgic. I had a long talk with my mom about religion,beliefs and life. My mom is really an amazing woman with all the things she's put up with and dealt with. We have our differences and might not get along sometimes but she helps me a lot and has always been there for me. I think she tried to shelter me from a lot of bullshit as a child and protect me. She is a good woman and tries to help everyone and she is really sweet.I think she should be happy and I feel bad that she is not.
Parents tell you so many things to do/don't based on their life. My mom's big life lessons: Don't be with someone with an addictive personality."drugs/alcohol" Don't get married. If you get married make sure its someone you love for them. Don't expect someone to change cause they wont. What you see is what you get. You can't change a person..getting married and having a child wont change someone..mostly. Live, go do things and have experiences good and bad, they make you who you are and you'll have something to look back on.
I really wish I wasn't an only child, I wish I had brothers or sisters :( I told my mom today, I wish I was an aunt and I learned that she wishes she could be a grandma but she'll never experience that and I felt horrible that she said that. way to go mom for making me feel bad :'( Now I feel like I need to have a kid being an only child..I'm the only hope.
What else... I'm really happy with my boyfriend right now. Things are nice and I love him. It's a really good relationship and I'm happy.

Sims

our first house and I think I'm doing some gross in the front yard.
Someone was caught watch porn online!
We got engaged in the park
and married in the cemetery.
I don't know why my soon to be husband is going out looking like that! Gay club maybe...
Yup, I'm pregnant.
The baby is coming!

Home from the hospital with our new son.

Liquid Sunshine

Sitting here, enjoying the pouring rain and thunder. I can't express enough how much I love this weather. I love rain and thunder and lightening is a plus. I just wanna go stand outside in it and get soaking wet! I want to just lay in bed and have sex to the sound of the storm. :)

Thats pretty much all I'm doing is sitting here. My internet isn't working. I'm on stupid safe mode right now to use the internet. I hate it. Cant wait till I get this issue resolved.

Yesterday was mostly a good day. Aside from a few things it was nice. I really want to get my car fixed so I can leave my house. It sucks so bad sitting in my room for days. It would make things a lot easier also, If I could go visit my boyfriend so he didn't have to drive to me all the time and we could see each other more often. It would help out a lot with stress.

I really care and about him a lot and love him. I want everything to be good all the time and I want both of us to be happy.

On that note, I'm totally going outside to stand in the rain right now cuz i'm crazy.